I AM!

People walk around with masks on everyday to protect themselves from the world. We claim to be happy, when in reality we are broken. We claim to be strong, but become weak when we are alone. We claim to be confident when but have major self esteem issues. We claim to be fearless, when in reality we are scared out of our minds. Reveal yourselves, take off your masks. BELIEVE ME it feels AWESOME! #Day#2 of my journey..... CONFESSION: I have self esteem issues, I cry when im hurt, I hate saying IM SORRY, I'm scared of building NEW relationships..... I'm a work in progress.

  


When Did You Fall In LOVE with HIP HOP?

    I am an 80's baby at heart and I remember when I was first introduced to Hip Hop. I was watching MTV and VH1 and I watch the rap videos that would play after school. I remember "Yo MTV Raps" and Dre. Dre and Ed Lover. I first fell in love with HIP HOP when I heard "Cha-Cha Cha by Mc Lyte, "It's my Beat" by Sweet Tea and "The Greatest Man Alive by 3 Times Dope. The list is longer but I had to name a few. I had my boom box and rocked out to Afrikka Bambata and lounged out on the couch to watch  my Crush Grove and Beat Street VHS tapes. The music back in the day was life for me and I miss those days dearly. This new age music has been manipulated and stepped on and seems quite unrealistic. I guess I'm offended  that the nation is in a recession and all I hear on the radio are songs glorifying the bling, making it rain, drugs, money, sex and power. Is this what our children have to look forward too? I remember when me and my friends would clear the living room just so we could dance to Kid n Play and Big Daddy Kane.We would "Qun diddly diddly diddly dee" to Heavy D and wave your hand in the air when Chubb Rock's song hit the airwaves.  I remember as around the age of 8, my older cousin came to my house and she brought her cassette tapes and "Me and Kid Sensation and that home away from home, in the black Benz limo with the cellular phone", (My Posse's on Broadway by Sir-Mix-A-Lot  blazed through the speakers and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I jammed that song for months remembering every word. I loved Hip Hop at one point in my life, it meant so much to me. The movement represented the struggle as well as the care free beats to make your body rock. We can't forget "Breakin 1 and 2" and Ozone and Turbo with the break dancing "Electric Bugaloo" type style. Hip Hop was knowledge, it was ART, it was about battling and broadcasting your skills in a non violent way. It gave hope to young men on the streets, it gave them a way out. When you heard a rhyme, you heard a message that was monumental. What happened to our generation? What happened to our MUSIC? What happened to HIP HOP? 


Who is your favorite MC?

Are you MOTHERING your man????

Sometimes women get accustomed to the daily routine of cooking, cleaning, and nurturing offspring. This is supposed to be for HUSBANDS or CHILDREN, but have been connected to these so called "Babes in Toyland" type men. In the last decade or so, there has been quite a few men that enjoy sitting at home without a job being pampered by women FRIENDS. Yes, obviously they haven't recieved a title yet. He often explains to everybody that she is just his friend and he continues to reap the benefits that only a husband should recieve. These motherly type women choose to cater to these men without them having to make any committments. Most of these women have a fear of being rejected or suffer from some kind of abandonment issues. This in turn leads to wanting to control all situations and relationships. Women as a whole need to learn to be comfortable in their own skin and quit allowing men or past endeavors to define them. It takes a great deal of time and effort to raise a boy into a man, and that is almost impossible coming from only one woman. It takes even more patience to deal with a grown man still trying to find his way. The lack of patience in ourselves can lead to settling for something that looks good on the surface, but is down right trodden on the inside. To be loved is a feeling that is desired by many but not technically understood. When you control something it doesn't necessarily love you back the way you want it to. The one who is being controlled becomes resentful and mean spirited. This also becomes quite consuming and it alienates you from the rest of the world. A lot of women overcompensate by putting up fronts abour their weaknesses, so they choose men who they feel are weaker than them. This allows them to feel better about themselves and their position in life. The bad thing about this philosophy is that when you change, so does your control. When you no longer want to be in authority, the game plan changes. You start to see yourself in a different light and the man you once loved to control, now becomes a mere roach under your foot....EWWWWW!(making a stinky face).... The moral to this story is.......Allow these men to take control and take the lead. Woman are designed to be helpmates, not doormats....IJS!

Define "LOYAL", Define "REAL"

First, I want to start off by saying that I am so tired of hearing people say "You aint real" or "You aint Loyal" or "You aint bout that life". This statement is so absurd to me. People walk around trying to define realness to everyone around them and to be honest it just seems superficial to me. We all have a little shady in us. If you say that you don't, then you are lying to yourself and everyone else around you. The only person we should be real with is "ourselves and "GOD". There is too much emphasis on what people arent doing for you, instead of what you arent doing for yourselves. We don't have to keep trying to prove ourselves to PEOPLE. We shouldnt be that shallow. I have learned that people define you based on their own perception of you. Don't allow people to put you in a box and step all over your character....Thats so NOT cool!!!!

Fairweather Friends

OBSERVATION 101: I have never been one to have many friends. I am just not into having to deal with too many personalities all at once. It takes patience to deal with people and there burdens and excess baggage, therefore I limit my relationships. God is still working with me on my "patience" issues. It takes a great deal of effort and time to break down boundries. The bible tells us that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. If the people that you associate yourself with constantly bring you down and stunt your growth, then you may want to re-evaluate your circumstances. Friends are there to feed you, empower you and assist with your growth. Proverbs 18:24 states: "A man/woman of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. **If God is trying to wean people out of your life...LET HIM!!! If you will allow God to prune out the people that He does not want you to have in your life – then what He will start to do is to bring in the people that He will want to have in your life.

God FORGIVES, but he DOES'NT

I am an avid follower on Instagram..... Someone posted a picture of Ricky "Rozay" Ross's fat ass with the comment of "God forgives, I don't". Due to the fact that I am a christian, that statement really offended me. Of course, I know opinions are like a**holes and everybody has one but I felt the need to stand up for what I believed in. I started posting about his lyrics and how he needs to stop referencing God as if he is his enemy in his songs. Someone basically told me to shut the hell up and turn on a gospel station...lol! I believe that it is my duty to acknowledge God on a daily and that is exactly what I did. People need to quit idolizing these rappers or actors because of their status. If Rick Ross was a regular dude on the street, NOBODY would even care about what he had to say. In this day and age "Money" is the core part of peoples lives. We are damaged by the "LOVE" of money that we cant even open our eyes to see the idealistic viewpoints of a true bigot. If GOD forgives us, then why does he have to feel superior. I know that these are just words but shallow people really take on his beliefs and embrace him as if he were a soveriegn being. IJS! Lets get it together PEOPLE, JEESH!!!!

OBAMA 2016: LOVE him or HATE him, that is the question?????

STICKS AND STONES

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me"

Is this philosophy really true? We walk around holding a chip on our shoulders because of what someone has conjured up in their minds about their perception of who we are. Why do we allow people to tear us down and allow us to believe what they are saying might actually be true. We start doubting our abilities and what we stand for. People dont understand they have the ability to slowly kill someone inside. This is a harsh world and people need to start getting ready to guard themselves and stand on faith. Quit allowing people to make you dumb down so you can stand at there level. Take it from my girl Erykah and realize you are also 12 feet tall....Love yourself and dont allow others to make you believe that you arent good enough.....NUFF SAID!!!!

Can a clique stay clique tight?

What is the meaning of friendships? Some friends are there in your life for a reason, some a season and few a lifetime. That word few should be encrypted in to your brain and permenantly implanted to keep you on your toes. Women are devious creatures. I know because I am one. So listen when I tell you that women believe in the eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth mechanism. I have been friends with my BFF Jill for over 10 years and we have been through hell and high water together. I also have two other friends that have been part of the clique for the same amount of time. But some people just seem to never grow up. This is the time of my life where my focus is on my family and my finances. If you aren't trying to grow then I am trying to go. I don't want to be an old lady still dreaming of what if's and How comes. For 2009 work on having positive people in your life who are about changing for the better. Too many people in life are so focused on other peoples faults that they can't see the strengths.

Do men think beyond the present?

I was having a conversation with my husband one night about relationships. We spoke a while about communication within a relationship. I explained to him that most women want to know the reasons WHY? to everything. If we get messed over we want to know why. If we notice that you didn't like something we want to know why?. If you didn't call us when we expected; of course we want to know why? Most women are very detailed and inqusitive about situations. Women think for the future, where as men think for the moment. I asked a friend of mine why he cheated on his wife and he shrugged his shoulders and said mens fave quote "I don't know". I looked at him and challenged him. We went on and on for hours and he still could not give me a definite explanation as to why? This is a mystery to me.

"Obama, Obama"

I am a bit pessimistic when it comes to political views and debates. That is the Leo in me. I like to take a situation and critique it and go against the grain. So when my coworkers indulged in a conversation about the presidential election and the possibilities of a BLACK president hitting the oval office, I was snarling waiting for my plan of attack. When I first heard the news of this Barack Obama I was like who in the he!# would elect this man with a name like that. Remembering I made this statement or assumption of him before I even took the time out to observe the guy. That is how I am in life. When I first hear about a person or meet them I automatically guard up. In this situation I felt as though a black man might not be ready for the pressures of this world at this particular time. Exspecially since the anti-christ George Bush made it such a hard road for us these last 8 years. I didn't want this man to be a poster child for "THE BLACK MAN THAT FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY". Excuse my french. You know the other color man will try to find a way to make us look like a fool. Throughout the election I made my cynical remarks and continued on believing that Barack was not the man for the job. Looking at his black lips and his "how do I say it" politically incorrect demeanor, I began to look at him as a joke. UNTIL, I saw my first debate. Boyyyy! It was like an action movie. Up and down, hot and cold. Then here comes Obama with his witty remarks and his hood antics. I was like WOW!!! this man is black, intelligent and fiesty. This is my kind of man. As I listened to his speech after he defeated McCain I was moved. It felt like a Martin Luther King moment. It felt like history repeating itself in a way like no other. We have a black president. This is a moment my grandparents dreamed of. I saw my gma smile and I looked at my life remembering the most influential portion of his speech "YES WE CAN"

Now write that in the history books. I know other persuasions are mad that they have to edit those textbooks and add a black man to it.....LOL!!!

What would you do with a million dollars

Was Ike looking for Tina?

Ike was a storm that will not be forgotten throughout the Gulf Coast region. I was in my home like a fool staring outside waiting for the hurricane to come. I exhausted most of my funds so that I could be a little prepared for what was about to happen. In rememberance of Rita I did not go all out. I wish I could take that back now. Rita pissed me off with the media blowing it all out of proportion and causing a whole city to be trapped in a whirlwind of expectations and second guessing. When Rita hit I was again outside like a fool screaming obscenities to a category 5 storm. Rita caused havoc in all other surrounding cities EXCEPT Houston. I know you all are saying why in the hell would she want to be hit by a hurricane. Well, I spent all my money and there was no gas and hardly any food. I expected for Rita to do something. She did nothing. To make a long story short I expected Ike to do the same. Staring outside my window I saw trees being plunged out of the ground and rain and wind whipping my window like Toby or kunta shall I say. It was scary yet amazing at the same time. God is not to be played with. If I didn't learn anything else from Ike I learned patience and thankfulness. During the storm you realized who was there for you and who was not. I was without power for 7 WHOLE days and lost all the food I had. In the end me and my family are still alive and well. I have learned that God can do anything. On second note, the storm seemed like it took forever to leave. It was searching for something or shall I say someone. Hell, where was Tina? LOL!!!